The term “fault judging” is applicable to our relationships with two-legged critters as well as to in-the-show-ring judging of our dogs.
How easy it is to see the shortcomings of others – to focus on the negative aspects. We’ve all been guilty of this at some time, so no fingers are being pointed here. Negativity breeds more negativity and can rapidly destroy friendships, business relationships or clubs – all of which began and blossomed out of common interests.
Let’s draw a parallel to the way we see representatives of a breed we each love: When we hone in on a fault – however minor or major – our ability to see the GOOD features of that dog is diminished, perhaps to the degree that we are able to see ONLY the fault. In essence, we are “throwing out the baby with the bath water”. So it is, as well, with people; surely we are not defined by our “faults”.
Is there someone who has inspired you? TELL THEM SO. Someone you know has a smile which brightens your day; someone has a delightful sense of humor; someone has a wonderful way with dogs; someone is markedly kind; someone is generous with their time, etc., etc. Look for the plus about someone and tell them you recognize it. A sincere compliment costs you nothing, but you never know how it may reinforce another’s lagging spirits.
We often hear “help the newcomers”; a good suggestion, but do we really think through how we might accomplish this? Try mentally standing in someone else’s shoes and looking through their eyes. Remember what it was like when you were a beginner. While we may be busily “evaluating” the dogs being shown, from ringside or as competition, someone new to our sport may be totally overwhelmed and/or feeling very left out. A simple introduction, an offer to help or even a bit of guidance in navigating the mysteries of the show ring could possibly be the impetus of a long and happy life as an exhibitor.
It’s often said that the average tenure in the dog world is five years. People come and people go, but more might stay if the atmosphere were more hospitable. We can accomplish this – if we care enough.
Kindness and good will are contagious, and foster an atmosphere of happiness which rubs off on all of us.
“Pollyanna”, you may be saying? So be it; in the original story, a dispirited town became pleasant and healthy due to the gladness Pollyanna brought.
Jacqueline Ragland |